20 Questions to Restore the Connection in Your Marriage
Try this to make your relationship feel new again!
Aaaah. . that cloud 9 feeling!
Practically skipping through life, feeling a sense of joy and giddiness that you wish you could bottle!
Remember that magical feeling of falling in love?
Spending hours upon hours gazing at one another. Talking on the phone until the wee hours and still not wanting to hang up. Wanting to know everything about your beloved from their favorite band to their biggest fears!
Perhaps that has faded to a distant memory.
Maybe your relationship now resembles more of a co-parenting, business partnership than a breathtaking romance.
While relationships do grow and mature and it’s not all about fireworks, goose bumps, and butterflies – marriage is much more enjoyable and more likely to be a forever relationship if you can keep a bit of that “new love” thrill alive!
And while I hate to be a downer, there can be devastating consequences to letting this slip away!
I bet you all know of marriages that have ended because one spouse found someone else who was fascinated with every little detail of their thoughts, feelings, and interests!
It almost always starts innocently enough, a friendship forms and they start getting to know each other. . . in much the same way that they first got to know their spouse (or former spouse, sadly).
Before long, there is a connection that feels much more powerful than the connection at home. They start to see only the positive in their new interest and only the negative at home.
It’s a tough ship to turn once things go down this path, unfortunately!
Don’t let this happen to your relationship! Your husband needs to know you are still interested in him, that you still delight in him.
And if you’ve lost that loving feeling (whoa, that lovin’ feeling), don’t wait another day to get it back! Even if it’s on life support, it’s not too late to revive that excitement!
Pope St. John Paul II spent many weeks of his Wednesday Audiences addressing love and relationships. His series of talks has become known as the Theology of the Body. Throughout these lessons, John Paul II talked about how spousal love is an imitation of and response to God’s love for us! We were designed to love and be loved! He spoke of love as a gift of self to your beloved.
Use this exercise to share yourself through the gift of time – connecting and learning more about one another! Make your husband your #1 priority instead of giving him what’s left after all the stress and trials of the day! Block off a time that you can devote to one another, screen-free intentional time for your marriage.
There’s nothing magical about the remedy and it won’t cost you a dime, but it will take some time and emotional energy.
You simply need to do the things you did when the relationship was new!
Go ahead and ask those “getting to know you” questions again! Yes, it might feel a little like a junior high ice breaker, but give it a try!
I bet many of the answers are different now than they were when you met! You might be surprised at what you learn!
Now there are a few critical rules to keep in mind. . . you won’t get anywhere if you mock your spouse’s answers, tell them they are wrong, or interrupt them! You didn’t do that when you met (or I’m guessing you wouldn’t have ever gotten to the altar!) so don’t do it now!
You need to put any disagreements, resentments, and negativity aside and just enjoy each other’s company!
Just take yourself back to that exciting time when you first met! Have fun and be sure to let me know in the comments if you gave this a try!
I’m going to make it even easier by giving you some questions to get you going!